Have you ever lost control of your temper? What would you say if I told you that anger is not a stand-alone emotion? For real!
Think about the last time that you got really angry. I bet you felt sad, hurt, scared, embarrassed, disappointed, or any other number of negative emotions first. Anger is how we respond when we feel a loss of control. We want to regain that control so much that we often respond with more intensity than the activating event reasonably warranted.
The Anger House:
Think about anger like a house. A house has to be on a strong foundation if the house is to stand. So, what happens to the “anger house” when we start dealing with the other negative emotions we feel. If we can take control over our own emotions, we can weaken the foundation of our anger, and it can begin to crumble.
This can be easier said than done because, for some of us, we have been hurt over and over again. We have boarded up the windows and reinforced our house with anger so that no one can ever hurt us again. The walls of our mighty fortress are thick. Do we even want to let the walls down?
Pros and Cons:
Everything we do serves a purpose, or we probably would not keep doing it. Anger is no exception. So, lets take a look at the pros and cons of holding on to anger. You may have your own, but I want to list some that I frequently hear in my practice.
Believe it or not, I can understand why you want to hold on to your anger. However, anger turns in to resentment when you don’t deal with it. Resentment eats away at you. It steals the ability for healthy relationships and true joy. It creates bitterness and tints every aspect of your life in a negative way.
So, what do I do about it?
Why would I want to do therapy?
That is a great question. Therapists are trained professionals that are ready and able to genuinely meet you right where you are without becoming personally emotionally involved. This is important, because when you are emotionally compromised by your circumstances, it becomes much harder to think straight and sort out what you are truly thinking and feeling. A therapist can bring insight to the situation and act as a guide or sidekick, depending on the need, to help you break down the walls of resentment and learn to reclaim your life.
If you have any questions or comments, or you would like to talk about the issues you are personally dealing with, give me a shout. I offer a free 15-minute phone consult and we can talk about whether therapy is right for you. You can contact me here.
If you have been held down by the chains of resentment and bitterness, there is hope. You can be free once again.
Remember to subscribe with your email address. You will be notified when new blog articles are posted. I promise you will never get junk mail because that stuff is annoying.
We just sent you an email. Please click the link in the email to confirm your subscription!